Funny Ferret StuffF erret owners (also regarded as “Fur Slaves”) usually tend to fit into a different breed of humanity. For instance, you might find yourself being reprimanded from time to time for becoming a full time “Poop Inspector.” This isn’t considered normal behavior by those Not-In-The-Know. But we know. Don’t we!
And because “We Know” we are usually much happier than other folks.
Which is exactly why we created the “Funny Ferret Stuff” page.
You might be a Ferret Fanatic if…
- You go to the store and buy ferret litter and forget to buy toilet paper.
- You have more pictures framed of your ferrets than you do of your children.
- You really think your ferrets are your children.
- You shuffle everywhere instead of walking for fear of stepping on a ferret (this looks odd in public places).
- You begin to think “Eau de Hob” smells as good as Joy.
- You’re really ticked off because there’s no shopping channel for ferrets.
- You won’t go on vacation because you’re afraid to leave the “children” with a stranger – even if she is your sister.
- When you get mad at your husband/wife you hiss and bite his toes.
- You get sick and make an appointment for yourself at the vet’s.
- You discuss ferret poop with another ferret fanatic and actually find this subject interesting.
- You get mad at a co-worker and grab him with your teeth at the back of the neck and shake him.
- You’re late to work because it took so long to kiss all your ferrets good-bye.
- You make duck soup for your husband when he gets sick and force feed him with a syringe if he refuses to eat it.
- You can always think of a very good reason to keep or get just one more – after all, “How much trouble can one more be?”
- You’ll watch a 2-hour movie to catch a 2-second glance of another ferret.
- You get really disgusted if the toilet seat is left up, but are not disgusted by cleaning poop from the floor and emptying litter boxes every day (sigh).
- You’re totally grossed out if you step in dog poop, but not when you step in ferret poop.
- You realize that most of what you have written is about ferret poop. Ferrets are in fact 10% love and joy, and 90% poop
How To Clean A Ferret Cage By Sheh Ri
1) Remove all ferrets from the cage.
2) Stop wondering why this is the only time they don’t want to be removed from their cage. You’ll only drive yourself crazy.
3) Gather your cleaning supplies and a trash bag.
4) Remove ferret from the trash bag.
5) Remove litter box from cage.
6) Remove ferret from the cage.
7) Remove ferret from litter box and empty contents of litter box into trash bag.
8) Remove ferret from trash bag.
9) Wipe down litter box with cleaning product and water and dry with a rag.
10) Retrieve rag from ferret.
11) Gather fresh litter for the box.
12) Remove ferret from the box.
13) Place the fresh litter in the box.
14) Remind ferret that the box is not for digging.
15) Remove ferret from the box and clean up litter he has stewn all over the floor.
16) Wipe down cage with cleaning product and water and dry with a rag.
17) Retrieve rag from ferret, who is now filthy.
18) Place box back in cage.
19) Remove ferret from cage.
20) Place cleaning products back in closet.
21) Remove ferret from closet.
22) Throw out trash bag, making sure ferret is not in trash bag.
23) Give ferret a bath because he was in the trash bag.
24) Watch wet ferret roll all over the floor getting himself nice and dirty again.
25) Prepare to do it all again tomorrow.